Enigma
by RaB
Summary: Short fic from Buffy then Spike's POV on their first time during "Smashed"
1. Condemned

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to Joss (believe me, if I owned this stuff, I wouldn't be writing, I'd be running away with James to a tropical island) ;)  
  
Spoilers: Pretty much just the last five minutes of "Smashed"  
  
A/n: Okay, here's my shameless plug- I know I have another story going right now (check it out, it's called "Apocalypse Now... Again"), but when the writing bug bites ya... anyway, I was just inspired, so please R+R  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
ENIGMA  
  
Chapter 1 ~~~~~~~  
  
"I'm in love with you."  
  
"You're in love with pain. Admit it. You only like me, because you enjoy getting beat down. So who's really screwed up?"  
  
I was right. I knew I was right. I didn't love him. And there was absolutely no way he could possibly love me. So why was it that he would follow me around, looking at me the way he does, saying those beautiful tender things? He's the only person who ever looks me in the eyes when I speak to him now. I think everyone else is just too ashamed.  
  
He got up and ran at me, grabbing my shoulders harshly. His eyes were cold when he spoke.  
  
"Hello? Vampire! I'm supposed to be treading on the dark side." He threw me across the room so that I landed against a wall; then he came at me again and threw me on the floor with a thud. He walking over to me and grabbed my jacket and pulled me up so that his face was mere inches from mine. "What's your excuse?"  
  
His eyes were still cold. I couldn't look at them like that. I put my hand over his face and pushed him off of me. He flew backward taking out another chunk of wall from the condemned building. I regained my composure as he staggered to his feet. I leapt at him and we both flew backward and landed on the staircase. He pinned me against the stairs and laughed. I punched him, hard. How dare he laugh at me?  
  
He punched me and lifted me up so that he could look me in the face.  
  
"I wasn't planning on hurting you... much," he said, a cocky smirk on his face.  
  
"You haven't even come close to hurting me," I snarled back.  
  
"Afraid to give me the chance?"  
  
I broke his hold and threw him against another wall. Was I... afraid? No, I couldn't even think it. I wasn't afraid of him, not physically, no. But in other ways, he terrified me. When he kissed me my whole world would drift away and nothing seemed to matter. Not Dawn, not money, not my friends, nothing. Just his lips.  
  
I could see the wall cracking where he had smashed into it. I stormed over to him and I could feel the hot anger rising up inside of me and reddening my cheeks. When I reached him, he looked harshly at me, raw emotion flaring in his eyes. I grabbed him by the collar of his jacket and he spoke to me again.  
  
"You afraid I'm gonna-"  
  
I kissed him. Pushing my lips hard upon his I kissed him and I could feel his surprise. It took him a moment to get the idea but soon enough he was kissing me back. I wanted him so much but I couldn't possibly. The anger rose in my throat and needed a release. I smashed my fist through the wall and pulled my hand back to run down the side of his head. He picked me up and carried me up to another wall and smashed me up against it. I continued to kiss him harder. My anger was slowly turning into pure lust.  
  
I could hear the ceiling cracking and I knew a large a piece of wood was about to fall. I pushed Spike off of me and out of danger. He stumbled backward as the large piece of ceiling fell behind me. I kept pushing him till he reached a pillar in the center of the house. He looked at me with fire blazing in his eyes as I ran and began to kiss him again.  
  
It was passion, and heat, and desire, and primal.  
  
He lifted me up, our mouths still locked, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. I removed one hand from his neck and expertly undid his belt. I pulled down his zipper, and knew that there was no going back.  
  
Desperately, hungrily, I pulled him inside of me.  
  
I pulled my head back from his so that I could look at him. He looked at me; his beautiful blue eyes were full of, shock and passion, and more than anything, love.  
  
We stared into each other's eyes, and time stood still. Everything was quiet, and nothing meant anything except for him. He was searching my own eyes for something, what I could not tell. I tried to give him what he wanted.  
  
We began to move with one another, slowly and rhythmically. I closed my eyes as my lips searched desperately for his. Though his body was cold, when I kissed him, I felt a fire that I never felt before.  
  
He turned me around and softly began to thrust against me while I was pushed up with my back on the pillar. It felt so good to... just to feel.  
  
He pulled his head back from my mouth as the chandelier fell from the ceiling and smashed through the floor. He kissed the flesh on my neck and chest, and I threw my head back and moaned in ecstasy.  
  
I put my arms around his neck so that I could hold him, and he lost his balance and began to stumble backward. I found his mouth again and kissed him as we fell. He hit the floor and we fell right through to the basement.  
  
I landed on top of him, my body shuddering with pleasure. Again, he just looked into my eyes and there was so much love there, I couldn't understand why I didn't feel it too. I could hear the breaking and cracking of the house all around me, but it seemed so far away.  
  
It was funny, because as the same time, my entire life was falling apart.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
TBC? I have an idea for another chapter with Spike's POV. What do you guys think? 


	2. Rooted in Darkness

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to Joss (believe me, if I owned this stuff, I wouldn't be writing, I'd be running away with James to a tropical island) ;)  
  
Spoilers: Pretty much just the last five minutes of "Smashed"  
  
A/n: Okay, here's my shameless plug- I know I have another story going right now (check it out, it's called "Apocalypse Now... Again"), but when the writing bug bites ya... anyway, I was just inspired, so please R+R  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
ENIGMA  
  
  
  
Chapter 2  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
"I'm in love with you," I plead. More than anything I'm begging her to see how much I love her. I know I do. I feel it every time I'm around her. The slightest touch sets my cold skin on fire. I tell her how I feel, and like always, she just throws it back in my face.  
  
"You're in love with pain. Admit it. You only like me, because you enjoy getting beat down. So who's really screwed up?"  
  
How could she say that? How could she talk to me like I didn't know how I feel? And I hated feeling like this. Unloved and lost. Is this what she's turned me in to? Really just some little lost dog following his master?  
  
No.  
  
I am more than that. I am powerful, and strong, and pissed. She will know how I feel if I have to beat it into her.  
  
I got up and ran at her, blinded by my anger and passion. I grabbed her shoulders and shook her furiously as if to wake her up to the world. Make her aware of how much I wanted her.  
  
"Hello? Vampire! I'm supposed to be treading on the dark side." And I am. I am violent. I am dark. I am evil.  
  
I am in love.  
  
I threw her onto the floor and I could hear her shoulders smash against the ground. Good! She should hurt. She says she can't feel; she says that she's numb to everything. I'll make her feel.  
  
I grab her by the napes of her jacket and pull her face close to mine. I wanted to kiss her hot red lips but decided against it. I could hear her quick breaths and it made me want her even more.  
  
"What's your excuse?" I finally ask. She says she's not dark, but we know that's not the whole truth. Her power is rooted in darkness, if only she could see...  
  
She put her hand over my face is if to block her view of me and pushed me off of her. I flew backwards into another wall which crashed against my back painfully. I tried not to react. I barely winced. I couldn't show her any weakness; I couldn't allow myself to be thrown.  
  
She stood again, proud and tall. God, how I wanted to smack that smug look off her face. I wanted to let her know that she's no better than I. She jumped at me and we both fell onto the staircase. I got the upper hand and pinned her to the stairs. I laughed. At her? at me? I'm not sure. Maybe I was just realizing how fucked up our entire situation was. I punched her and she punched back like it was nothing. We recovered, and I spoke again, more harshly this time. It took all my strength to keep my voice from shaking with anger.  
  
"I wasn't planning on hurting you... much."  
  
And that was true. I never wanted to hurt her, ever. All I really wanted was her.  
  
"You haven't even come close to hurting me," she snarled, her tone perfectly matching the angry expression on her face.  
  
"Afraid to give me the chance?" I retort.  
  
I know she's afraid of me sometimes. I can see it in the way she looks at me when we're alone. She knows... knew that I couldn't hurt her, but she was still afraid.  
  
And I didn't know how that made me feel at all.  
  
I loved fear. More than anything in the kill, I loved the fear. More than blood running over my tongue, or my teeth breaking skin, I lived for the fear. The smell of it, the taste of it, the feel of it. It made me quiver all over in pleasure when it was anywhere near me. But when Buffy was afraid, I wanted to cry.  
  
She broke my hold on her and pushed me away from her. I smashed against yet another wall of the condemned building, and the pain in my back was more intense. She walked over to me, her cheeks a bright pink. I was so angry with her. All I did was love her and she treated me like shit. When she came to me, just to talk, I was there to listen. I couldn't let her get away with it anymore.  
  
"You afraid I'm gonna-"  
  
She kissed me. Pushing her lips furiously against mine she kissed me with more passion than I had ever been kissed before. All my anger and frustration with her just seemed to melt away as I kissed her back. She smashed her fist through the wall but the sound of the cracking wood seemed so distant.  
  
I picked her up and turned her around so that her back was against the wall. I kissed her harder, more passionately than before. She tastes so good to me. Better than blood, better than power, better than fear, the taste of her lips made my body feel like it wanted to explode.  
  
Suddenly, she pushed me from her and I stumbled back. I couldn't believe it. Had she just changed her mind again? Did she suddenly decide that I wasn't good enough for her? That's always what she said. She'd never stoop so low as to being with me.  
  
I was about to say something, what I don't know when she ran to me and pushed me up against a pillar. Before I knew it, she was kissing me again. I picked her up quickly; I didn't want her to be able to get away again. She wrapped her legs around me and took one of her hands off my neck and it traveled down to my belt buckle. I hadn't even noticed that she undid my zipper until suddenly, I was inside of her. And God knows, I wasn't going to stop her.  
  
Her lips came off of mine and her head flew back with a sort of gasping sound. She looked into my eyes and when I looked back all I could see were hers. Was I dreaming? Was this just another one of my fantasies? I could feel her all over in a way I never had, and I wasn't waking up.  
  
I didn't fight it; I didn't say a word. I just looked into her eyes for permission to continue, and when it was there, I did.  
  
She began to move rhythmically against me. I closed my eyes and her lips found mine again. I kissed her softly as I could even though my more primal instincts were screaming at me to ravage her. I turned her around so that she was now against the pillar.  
  
I died a virgin. I had never made love to a warm body before. Drusilla had been my first, and God had she been amazing. Then there was Harmony, and countless other stupid vampire bints that I had laid in the time that Dru and I were apart.  
  
None of it compared to this.  
  
The heat of her body warmed my cold skin and though it may seem ironic, it made me shiver. I had never, ever felt warmth like this.  
  
I could hear the chandelier fall behind me as I continued to thrust against her. I removed my lips from hers and I heard her moan with pleasure. I kissed the skin on her neck and chest and clenched my jaw to keep from crying out. My vampiric instincts told me to bite her, while the man in me told me to love her.  
  
She leaned her head forward to kiss me again and I lost my balance. I fell backwards, still holding her tightly against me as we fell through the floor to the basement of the building. I landed on my back with her on top of me still moving as if we had been still the entire time. She was completely unfazed as she looked into my eyes once again. She had never looked at me the way she did right then, and I wanted to tell her how much I loved her. But the words were stuck in my throat.  
  
I could hear her heart pounding furiously in her chest as her blood rushed quickly through her veins. She looked at me and I her, and I realized that Buffy didn't love me... not yet.  
  
  
  
End  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So, what did you think? Please review! 


End file.
